But why don't Tattoos dissappear?
So, I've often wondered why ink injected into the skin doesn't get shed as the skin cells are replaced. Today, I thought to finally figure this out by reading the Wikipedia article on tattooing. Unfortunately, it doesn't address this important concern of mine.
Programmer Psychologists Needed
It strikes me as a rather necessary specialization of the field of psychology: programmer psychologists. And indeed, there is a huge economic incentive. After all, if programs are products of the mind, and programmers are intellectual people, it makes perfect sense to keep that grey matter in peak form. Combine this with the fact that many have social issues and might have a difficult time talking to others, this is a concept long past due.
So forget the chefs, and the massueses: bring in the psychologists and counselers. Or better yet, don't forget the chefs and massueses.
What about just improving the health-plan to include counseling? This is certainly better than nothing, but not optimal. An in-house shrink will better understand the context of whatever problem the programmer is bringing her. The will understand the political, social, and economic environment. And it would probably be cheaper for the company, to boot.
Certain conditions must apply: there must be anonymity. There must be an unbreakable patient/client priviledge.
In many ways this function is already filled by HR departments. But really, its not adequate. First, there is no priveledge (AFAIK), there is not enough time, and most importantly, that is not the HR persons job and they don't have training. Certainly they tend to be empathic and naturally good counselers, but that's pushing it.
So forget the chefs, and the massueses: bring in the psychologists and counselers. Or better yet, don't forget the chefs and massueses.
What about just improving the health-plan to include counseling? This is certainly better than nothing, but not optimal. An in-house shrink will better understand the context of whatever problem the programmer is bringing her. The will understand the political, social, and economic environment. And it would probably be cheaper for the company, to boot.
Certain conditions must apply: there must be anonymity. There must be an unbreakable patient/client priviledge.
In many ways this function is already filled by HR departments. But really, its not adequate. First, there is no priveledge (AFAIK), there is not enough time, and most importantly, that is not the HR persons job and they don't have training. Certainly they tend to be empathic and naturally good counselers, but that's pushing it.
Imogen Heap's Cyborg Piano
This actually sounds really neat, and useful! Hey Imogen, can I have one?
Imogen Heap Interview: "This is a ridiculous thing, it’s a dream of mine to have this cyborg piano, which looks like a piano but it’s not. I love playing the piano live, a real piano, I hate playing a keyboard on a stand in front of 1000 people. I hate that, it’s so embarrassing, I just look like a stick insect stuck behind this piece of plastic. But at the same time I need a keyboard, because I need to trigger off all my stuff. So, in the beginning, if I have to tour the States or whatever, I won’t be able to afford a band so I was thinking how can I do it all by myself, and have a piano, and have all the laptops. So I’ve got this company who do the sets for Star Wars and Troy, and they’re making this white piano that looks like wood, but it’s not. And where the music stand would be is a flat screen, and there is a weighted keyboard that you can also MIDI up and is triggerable, and a Starship Enterprise main seat with all the gadgets and everything built into it. Then on the side of the piano, where there’s a curve, it’s going to be made of a frosted, see-through, plastic coating, and each note on the keyboard is gonna have a corresponding light, so when I play the piano you’ll see the lights move exactly as when I play the notes. And then, inside, when the piano opens up there’s gonna be little lights projected onto it, and a big white light that floods out from underneath the piano… it’s gonna look wicked."
Imogen Heap Interview: "This is a ridiculous thing, it’s a dream of mine to have this cyborg piano, which looks like a piano but it’s not. I love playing the piano live, a real piano, I hate playing a keyboard on a stand in front of 1000 people. I hate that, it’s so embarrassing, I just look like a stick insect stuck behind this piece of plastic. But at the same time I need a keyboard, because I need to trigger off all my stuff. So, in the beginning, if I have to tour the States or whatever, I won’t be able to afford a band so I was thinking how can I do it all by myself, and have a piano, and have all the laptops. So I’ve got this company who do the sets for Star Wars and Troy, and they’re making this white piano that looks like wood, but it’s not. And where the music stand would be is a flat screen, and there is a weighted keyboard that you can also MIDI up and is triggerable, and a Starship Enterprise main seat with all the gadgets and everything built into it. Then on the side of the piano, where there’s a curve, it’s going to be made of a frosted, see-through, plastic coating, and each note on the keyboard is gonna have a corresponding light, so when I play the piano you’ll see the lights move exactly as when I play the notes. And then, inside, when the piano opens up there’s gonna be little lights projected onto it, and a big white light that floods out from underneath the piano… it’s gonna look wicked."
That Wacky Mbira
What a cool, wacky instrument. Looks like something that's perfect to make on your own.
(I looked this up after reading an excellent Imogen Heap interview which tells of her "lugging it around on her tour.")
This instrument has it's own .org. Neat!
(I looked this up after reading an excellent Imogen Heap interview which tells of her "lugging it around on her tour.")
This instrument has it's own .org. Neat!
The future of blogging?
Electric Sheep is a rich comic book experience for the web, done by Patrick Farley. Check out these two: delta thrives (which is a psycadelic and amazing example of what blogging could look like in the future. warning: adult content), apocamon (a look at the book of Revelations if it was a Pokemon cartoon-hilarious!). Many more strips can be found in the contents.
The site design uses a lot of flash, but it is not exclusively so. Very vool design.
(Thanks to Andrea Accary for posting this on her Thoughtworks profile which I clicked on on a lark while researching Domain Specific Languages).
The site design uses a lot of flash, but it is not exclusively so. Very vool design.
(Thanks to Andrea Accary for posting this on her Thoughtworks profile which I clicked on on a lark while researching Domain Specific Languages).
The Hacker Vanacular and the Silver Screen
Google's Gregor Hohpe gives a Preview talk about how we model our software, and why the code itself can sometimes emerge as hairy. This was given on May 9 at the 2006 TheServerSide Java Symposium in Las Vegas. He makes a good point about usability testing for APIs (talk to the programmer who will be using the interface). He also talks about the problem of avoiding graffiti code, and hwo the solution is really to write something beautiful that inspires those that come later.
He makes some interesting points about this important topic, but I got to thinking about a) his presentation style (which is very similair to other technical presentation styles) and b) my relationship to the talk.
Gregor's style is chatty. He is very expressive with his hands. He tends to move a lot of information and anticipates a lot of questions about detail and addresses those systematically and with precise language. I say without criticism that he is very much "in his head". It is clear that he is a very abstract thinker. He appears to be quite comfortable speaking to a technical audience, and while his language is more precise than an average speaker, he uses traditional and well understood hacker vernacular. "Looking through the code, I found some funny things". "This is wrong, it should be that way." (in reference to source code) "There's a method that says 'get me that account'." (anthropormorphisation of code) It is an informal shorthand that presupposes a shared context, and it is quite extensive.
For a large part of the talk, he is speaking in front of a two tone background, neatly seperated at his neck. I am only half-seriously suggesting that this reenforces the seperation between mind and body.
Sitting here in front of my computer (a laptop, sitting on my desk), I am confronted with the "thinness" of the experience. The wiggling lights of the computer screen are so very small and insignificant. And yet as a programmer I have learned to attach significance to these wiggles, and know that each one can be meaningful. In this very narrow sense, television is an important precursor to the personal computer - it got people used to attaching significance to pixels. Even writing this blog entry, I am only causing very small wiggles on the screen.
The actual, visceral experience is very sugary. Empty calories. It is thin, weightless, disposable. The image is small, the sound tinny, and the vastness and reality of the "real world" and "real people" beckons.
In that case one can breath life into the abstract ideas which are being expressed, ignore the mechanics of how the information has been delivered, and start animating the mind in an almost visceral way.
In terms of energy, the computer is very low powered. It moves information, not physical objects (well, not exactly, but moving electrons or even hard-disk heads are pretty small). The action of the computer is fundamentally delicate. The computer is very much in its head, just like the people that work with them day-to-day.
Given that computers are becoming more important to so many people, does this mean that a) computers will not be adopted by those who are not abstract thinkers or b) will it turn the population into more abstract thinkers? Anecdotal evidence points to B.
He makes some interesting points about this important topic, but I got to thinking about a) his presentation style (which is very similair to other technical presentation styles) and b) my relationship to the talk.
Gregor's style is chatty. He is very expressive with his hands. He tends to move a lot of information and anticipates a lot of questions about detail and addresses those systematically and with precise language. I say without criticism that he is very much "in his head". It is clear that he is a very abstract thinker. He appears to be quite comfortable speaking to a technical audience, and while his language is more precise than an average speaker, he uses traditional and well understood hacker vernacular. "Looking through the code, I found some funny things". "This is wrong, it should be that way." (in reference to source code) "There's a method that says 'get me that account'." (anthropormorphisation of code) It is an informal shorthand that presupposes a shared context, and it is quite extensive.
For a large part of the talk, he is speaking in front of a two tone background, neatly seperated at his neck. I am only half-seriously suggesting that this reenforces the seperation between mind and body.
Sitting here in front of my computer (a laptop, sitting on my desk), I am confronted with the "thinness" of the experience. The wiggling lights of the computer screen are so very small and insignificant. And yet as a programmer I have learned to attach significance to these wiggles, and know that each one can be meaningful. In this very narrow sense, television is an important precursor to the personal computer - it got people used to attaching significance to pixels. Even writing this blog entry, I am only causing very small wiggles on the screen.
The actual, visceral experience is very sugary. Empty calories. It is thin, weightless, disposable. The image is small, the sound tinny, and the vastness and reality of the "real world" and "real people" beckons.
In that case one can breath life into the abstract ideas which are being expressed, ignore the mechanics of how the information has been delivered, and start animating the mind in an almost visceral way.
In terms of energy, the computer is very low powered. It moves information, not physical objects (well, not exactly, but moving electrons or even hard-disk heads are pretty small). The action of the computer is fundamentally delicate. The computer is very much in its head, just like the people that work with them day-to-day.
Given that computers are becoming more important to so many people, does this mean that a) computers will not be adopted by those who are not abstract thinkers or b) will it turn the population into more abstract thinkers? Anecdotal evidence points to B.
Regret
Going through some old relics of mine (books, photos, scraps, tapes, etc) it is an occasion for deep regret. It is not the (apparently) more common reaction of 'nostalgia' so I decided to write about it.
In almost every case, the regret is of some personal flaw that resulted in a "failure". These failures range from large to small, to personal to impersonal. It may be a failure to complete a project, or to master a subject, or to retain a friend.
In many cases this regret is accompanied by shame and embarrasment; the realization that I have left so many disappointed people in my wake is almost paralyzing in its dreadfulness. They know me for the sham that I am, and my very name is cursed by so many mouths. The depth of my concern about what other people think about me shocks me.
Going through these artifacts, I can see a cycle that has occured several times. Mine is a life punctuated with the deep discontinuities of shame-faced retreat and then bright-eyed resurgence. The evidence of the previous cycle is hidden in boxes, but not thrown away. My life has been like the Motie civilization.
This cycle is the cause of great misery, and it must end. Since I'm far too happy when NOT going through old junk, let's think about solutions.
The simplest would be not to go through old junk anymore. But I really would like to have more continuity in the life; I talk to people my age who've had the same friends since kindergarden, and my mind boggles. I don't talk to anyone from college!
The key is to always act out of love. Even if I feel bad, assume the best of others, and act accordingly. Fight negative assumptions. Have conflict, but do not make enemies. Have intense dislike, but do not make enemies. Suffer great harm, but do not make enemies - encapsulate the harm, realize it for the small thing that it is and do not let it grow out-of-proportion to all existance. It would be lying to say 'harm is good' but it would also be lying to say 'harm is useless'. Harm is bad, but it is useful. Be cautious in the responsibilities that you take on. Do not overextend or take great risks in that, as you risk not just your own well being, but that of others.
The 'now' is a precious thing, filled with potential for creation, adventure, excitement, wisdom, fear, love, loneliness, wealth, and destruction. It would have been better, perhaps, to have acted differently in the past. But do not get caught saying the same thing about 'now' in the future!
Peace out.
In almost every case, the regret is of some personal flaw that resulted in a "failure". These failures range from large to small, to personal to impersonal. It may be a failure to complete a project, or to master a subject, or to retain a friend.
In many cases this regret is accompanied by shame and embarrasment; the realization that I have left so many disappointed people in my wake is almost paralyzing in its dreadfulness. They know me for the sham that I am, and my very name is cursed by so many mouths. The depth of my concern about what other people think about me shocks me.
Going through these artifacts, I can see a cycle that has occured several times. Mine is a life punctuated with the deep discontinuities of shame-faced retreat and then bright-eyed resurgence. The evidence of the previous cycle is hidden in boxes, but not thrown away. My life has been like the Motie civilization.
This cycle is the cause of great misery, and it must end. Since I'm far too happy when NOT going through old junk, let's think about solutions.
The simplest would be not to go through old junk anymore. But I really would like to have more continuity in the life; I talk to people my age who've had the same friends since kindergarden, and my mind boggles. I don't talk to anyone from college!
The key is to always act out of love. Even if I feel bad, assume the best of others, and act accordingly. Fight negative assumptions. Have conflict, but do not make enemies. Have intense dislike, but do not make enemies. Suffer great harm, but do not make enemies - encapsulate the harm, realize it for the small thing that it is and do not let it grow out-of-proportion to all existance. It would be lying to say 'harm is good' but it would also be lying to say 'harm is useless'. Harm is bad, but it is useful. Be cautious in the responsibilities that you take on. Do not overextend or take great risks in that, as you risk not just your own well being, but that of others.
The 'now' is a precious thing, filled with potential for creation, adventure, excitement, wisdom, fear, love, loneliness, wealth, and destruction. It would have been better, perhaps, to have acted differently in the past. But do not get caught saying the same thing about 'now' in the future!
Peace out.
The Dream Factory
Wired has a story about a company called eMachineShop that allows you to "print" 3D objects. Very handy for people who do car restorations, etc.
What is wrong with Africa?
A Tampon shortage in Zimbabwe makes me wonder, not for the first time and almost certainly not for the last time, what is wrong with Africa? It's hard to convey the sense of not just sadness, but also exasperation that an entire continent apparently cannot get its act together. It is difficult to look at the situation from the outside and feel neither pity nor anger. Indeed, since I am all-but-helpless I might as well feel nothing.
The movie "Airplane!" sums up my emotion, when a man is confronting a woman thrown into hysterics by news of their impending crash, shaking her by the lapels, and the camera pans back to show a long line of people waiting to confront her, each carrying a progressively larger weapon. It's true, I just want to "smack some sense" into Zimbabwe. The knowledge that it rarely, if ever, helps is no deterrent to the emotion. I'm sure that this Airplane effect is what partly motivated Bush's Iraq adventure, and look how well that's going. And that's a situation where not only did we remove a dictator but started pumping vast quanities of money into the region. And people are *still* so unhappy that they're blowing stuff up.
What is truly disturbing is the knowledge that if this note of mine recieved wide circulation, it would no doubt reach those whose immediate reaction would be "How dare you criticise Zimbabwe! The US is no different, and in fact Z's problems are caused by the US." This sounds too pat and ignorant to be anything but flamebait, so I would simply ignore it. I'm open to understanding the role of globalization in z's problems, but to completely abrogate responsibility on behalf of Z's people is irresponsible. Change *must* come from within (as Iraq is constantly teaching us).
The movie "Airplane!" sums up my emotion, when a man is confronting a woman thrown into hysterics by news of their impending crash, shaking her by the lapels, and the camera pans back to show a long line of people waiting to confront her, each carrying a progressively larger weapon. It's true, I just want to "smack some sense" into Zimbabwe. The knowledge that it rarely, if ever, helps is no deterrent to the emotion. I'm sure that this Airplane effect is what partly motivated Bush's Iraq adventure, and look how well that's going. And that's a situation where not only did we remove a dictator but started pumping vast quanities of money into the region. And people are *still* so unhappy that they're blowing stuff up.
What is truly disturbing is the knowledge that if this note of mine recieved wide circulation, it would no doubt reach those whose immediate reaction would be "How dare you criticise Zimbabwe! The US is no different, and in fact Z's problems are caused by the US." This sounds too pat and ignorant to be anything but flamebait, so I would simply ignore it. I'm open to understanding the role of globalization in z's problems, but to completely abrogate responsibility on behalf of Z's people is irresponsible. Change *must* come from within (as Iraq is constantly teaching us).
German 'Robin Hoods' give poor a taste of the high life
German anarchists break into high-end restaurants, steal the food on the buffet tables, and then give it away to the poor. The police call it "thieving, plain and simple."
In my opinion it is theft, but it is hardly the standard story. There is a huge political message. While I myself am by no means an egalitarian, I appreciate the message. Of course, if I was a restauranteur I'd be very unhappy at the theft.... Hopefully this gang is not targeting hard-working entrepenuers.
In a society as tightly regulated as ours, it is refreshing to see the rules be broken for something other than evidence of petty greed or an emotional outburst. The boldness of the attacks, combined with their silliness (the thieves wear superheroe uniforms) make them difficult to get angry about. I feel strangely conflicted about it: on one hand I know that stealing is wrong, and that people were harmed. And yet on the other hand I admire the immediacy of the action to "right the wrongs". No, it doesn't generalize terribly well into the political realm (pass laws forbidding high-end food?) but it works as socially aware performance art. Yes, it's written in someone elses blood, but it's not enough blood to get worried.
In my opinion it is theft, but it is hardly the standard story. There is a huge political message. While I myself am by no means an egalitarian, I appreciate the message. Of course, if I was a restauranteur I'd be very unhappy at the theft.... Hopefully this gang is not targeting hard-working entrepenuers.
In a society as tightly regulated as ours, it is refreshing to see the rules be broken for something other than evidence of petty greed or an emotional outburst. The boldness of the attacks, combined with their silliness (the thieves wear superheroe uniforms) make them difficult to get angry about. I feel strangely conflicted about it: on one hand I know that stealing is wrong, and that people were harmed. And yet on the other hand I admire the immediacy of the action to "right the wrongs". No, it doesn't generalize terribly well into the political realm (pass laws forbidding high-end food?) but it works as socially aware performance art. Yes, it's written in someone elses blood, but it's not enough blood to get worried.
Anti-Americanism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Anti-Americanism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "Heidegger wrote in 1935: 'Europe lies today in a great pincer, squeezed between Russia on the one side and America on the other. From a metaphysical point of view, Russia and America are the same, with the same dreary technological frenzy and the same unrestricted organization of the average man.'"
It is strange that these criticisms, while they don't ring completely true, still have some resonance. And yet I can't help but think that the Chinese, and perhaps even the Indians, will be even more breathless and hasty in their rush to organize the average man. And too, the sense I get is that the majority of Americans have grown lazy and complacent, delegating the hard work to immigrants, preferring to sit back and let the "passive income" roll in.
It is strange that these criticisms, while they don't ring completely true, still have some resonance. And yet I can't help but think that the Chinese, and perhaps even the Indians, will be even more breathless and hasty in their rush to organize the average man. And too, the sense I get is that the majority of Americans have grown lazy and complacent, delegating the hard work to immigrants, preferring to sit back and let the "passive income" roll in.
Flickr inappropriate use of "yay"
Flickr holds your pictures hostage if you don't pay up. They have the indecency to use their trademark cuteness in the pitch. At least real terrorists don't put smileys on their hostage demand notes.
Flickr holding my photos hostage
My pro account expired, and now I cannot find old photos (those past
200). I didn't realize this was Flickr's policy, and so I was using it
as an online archiving tool. Now, unless I fork over the $25, these
photos are gone. This seems disingenous at best.
Luckily, one way to get around this is to keep a URL for every photo you
upload. One easy way to do this is by blogging every single photoupload.
200). I didn't realize this was Flickr's policy, and so I was using it
as an online archiving tool. Now, unless I fork over the $25, these
photos are gone. This seems disingenous at best.
Luckily, one way to get around this is to keep a URL for every photo you
upload. One easy way to do this is by blogging every single photoupload.
Drew Curtis' FARK.com
Drew Curtis' FARK.com is a highly amusing way to waste time. It offers witty little summaries of random stories around the world, focusing on the funny ones. Some examples from today:
Credit card company charges man new card fee of $12.18 million
Toilet tank sink lets you wash your hands with tank water before you flush, drinking from the bowl optional
A very strange flash game from Japan
Credit card company charges man new card fee of $12.18 million
Toilet tank sink lets you wash your hands with tank water before you flush, drinking from the bowl optional
A very strange flash game from Japan
My public key
I was inspired to create a public key for myself so that if anyone wants to send encrypted messages to me, they can. I really like getting encrypted messages!
You can use the fingerprint to verify that the public key is correct. I registered my key with pgp.mit.edu and keyserver.veridis.com.
Here's the fingerprint:
Here's the public key itself:
You can use the fingerprint to verify that the public key is correct. I registered my key with pgp.mit.edu and keyserver.veridis.com.
Here's the fingerprint:
8CCC CD52 0451 0030 3164 4129 CEE3 B6CB 1809 CCCDHere's the public key itself:
-----BEGIN PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK-----
Version: GnuPG v1.4.3 (MingW32)
mQGiBERefloRBADwGuyzqVVfszVtf3HA0MQhgZ8iegjloXyV9B23hHLYoo+EzJb6
TZoW7fvoo1lNUPjSFStpExmh3sy88w2Cd52bD/uAx3VVMp83Npq7eK/TcuKhDsHA
+oPngIlcPFvKllZG5PwzBIMIO2Kos3a+7muPByesT85D7/vssIpug81pqwCg8Sbp
n9dFJZRzu8gOlmTTgQ9wXYMD/RXTam0JCHFEnJlFHBJEvEc5XcbeCjudfc5Eo60u
uhU5P3e73QggwxXNiYORW3zYP0iXLFCCP2ckx5ypOzvAy47asLVPnXbBypdTa70/
MwIRNGR3fd3LL9Rqc/b52JxjvNp4vOkuqktpnYsEsTRETFoRZiVm3N2jhkpreFe8
9GzsBAC9acQbMde2uzXYyJf8aaepkjFZHlLJ+8ToeOfngRS2LFylF7bsj+cjZjjN
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PGpvc2hAam9zaHJlaG1hbi5jb20+iGYEExECACYFAkRefloCGyMFCQlmAYAGCwkI
BwMCBBUCCAMEFgIDAQIeAQIXgAAKCRDO47bLGAnMzRv1AKC3RlEaVSFGIJHYaksa
H8vBiAQ7KACfe7FCrNWKetctJD3drPi9ObUThdK5Ag0ERF5+kRAIAO8a9MOoxChB
WsvMxlanmpQwsqnDizYvWGtlRGs6RGR+a29A6nr7TNUXnnpXTkEhnE6i5yxWqdom
xTRSlp/EKcf8QzqvV91KTVDeefZvb8p28f+lizPdAK56dYvUPa0nnvtwc6HrI4t9
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vYCgr50UZ/09W4Of5eu6FEovRrb+Tky/bZcnjDpBMXzNXCXJd6w/QLUst2ZuQrtG
apu9f/HXPKzmt79zC0+I9p2DbISHiIwWnEOBEBtc8ycyyPa2du30h2Xqvy/5qfjb
ViGFEGmt6zsAAwUH/iJv2HABTGU/+0BkhKVzbKz2QhJclDXng6zGIH/iWlFo5H4A
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LB0CJe1nhAm4Ei1DgmizrwJnJalITOnT9WqMOmDCcaf8tAIqq2SdsVT8UEtwmvsi
VCb0RPRXmlBVZi03OWGrQ4uO+XhlldmIuUktF5UfeNro/o5PJIs4XGRR2dqWdHCj
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TcRsDeX/U5CfwVXGbFw=
=B7nb
-----END PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK-----
Who Moved My Cheese? and the nature of change.
Amazon.com: Who Moved My Cheese : An Amazing Way To Deal With Change In Your Work And In Your Life: Books: Spencer Johnson,Tony Roberts,Ken Blanchard
I've noticed during meditation that one's mind tends to create crutches to interpret the experience of just being. These crutches take many forms, and some last for seconds, others for minutes. Some of them are so interesting that it's tempting to get convinced that the crutch is itself something important. But to remember that, fundamentally, the crutch and the fact that you are aware of it indicates distraction. The only thing is awareness. Any interpretation of awareness is no awareness.
This is what is meant by "everything changes".
One may ask the (quite reasonable) question, "How does this state of awareness you describe differ from a vacant stare?" The best answer is simply "you'll know the difference when you get there." This is true, but not helpful.
Consider that, for short stretches, it is easy to think of nothing and be calm. It is hard to concentrate the mind on something and still not react. It's kind of like stretching because if you concentrate (stretch) too hard you cause too much pain and cannot maintain the stretch, but if you don't even try to stretch (concentrate) you'll never touch the toes (be more aware). The key is to know where you are, what you're capable of, and without ego do the best that you can. Progress is slow and steady.
It is an interesting question why the mind cannot naturally light on one thing and stay there. Most humans have a hard time concentrating on something for an extended period (in the sense of samadhi meditation). This inability to concentrate is an excellent indication that something is not right in the mind. To realize how uncontrolled the mind is is to realize how dangerous you are to others.
Another interesting question is: How much pressure does it take to unbalance the mind? This is an interesting question because it completely depends on your criteria. In non-meditation, it appears to take quite a lot to cause instability. In meditation, it takes hardly anything at all. As one goes deeper, the stability improves but the subtly of the pressure that can rock you also increases. The implication is that, in the non-meditative state, these small tremors are occuring all the time beneath concious thought. Somehow they are managed by the mind and do not overpower it to a degree which is grossly noticible. But the mind must work hard to prevent this, and eventually one of the tremors cannot be handled and grows.
These tremors all have at their base fear, anxiety, anger, hatred, or craving. If one can meditate properly, the black bubbles of anxiety are replaced by the golden bubbles of compassion and love. But all of this is just so much talk. The only thing that we can really talk about is objective reality, what our bodies sense. Anything past that is on shaky ground. The bubble metaphor will not be right for others, and it won't be right for me eventually, and indeed there should be no metaphor at all. The urge to describe and understand is strong, and one must weigh the benefit of caving in to that urge against the risk of suppressing the descriptive instinct.
It is hard indeed, when confronted with the physical reality of the moment, to not feel absurdly grateful that it can be experienced. There is a subtle but powerful joy in the mere fact of existence without commentary. While most easily sensed in mediation, we actually exist in every moment no matter what we're doing (like typing on a keyboard at a computer) and it is marvelous to feel it there, too.
I've noticed during meditation that one's mind tends to create crutches to interpret the experience of just being. These crutches take many forms, and some last for seconds, others for minutes. Some of them are so interesting that it's tempting to get convinced that the crutch is itself something important. But to remember that, fundamentally, the crutch and the fact that you are aware of it indicates distraction. The only thing is awareness. Any interpretation of awareness is no awareness.
This is what is meant by "everything changes".
One may ask the (quite reasonable) question, "How does this state of awareness you describe differ from a vacant stare?" The best answer is simply "you'll know the difference when you get there." This is true, but not helpful.
Consider that, for short stretches, it is easy to think of nothing and be calm. It is hard to concentrate the mind on something and still not react. It's kind of like stretching because if you concentrate (stretch) too hard you cause too much pain and cannot maintain the stretch, but if you don't even try to stretch (concentrate) you'll never touch the toes (be more aware). The key is to know where you are, what you're capable of, and without ego do the best that you can. Progress is slow and steady.
It is an interesting question why the mind cannot naturally light on one thing and stay there. Most humans have a hard time concentrating on something for an extended period (in the sense of samadhi meditation). This inability to concentrate is an excellent indication that something is not right in the mind. To realize how uncontrolled the mind is is to realize how dangerous you are to others.
Another interesting question is: How much pressure does it take to unbalance the mind? This is an interesting question because it completely depends on your criteria. In non-meditation, it appears to take quite a lot to cause instability. In meditation, it takes hardly anything at all. As one goes deeper, the stability improves but the subtly of the pressure that can rock you also increases. The implication is that, in the non-meditative state, these small tremors are occuring all the time beneath concious thought. Somehow they are managed by the mind and do not overpower it to a degree which is grossly noticible. But the mind must work hard to prevent this, and eventually one of the tremors cannot be handled and grows.
These tremors all have at their base fear, anxiety, anger, hatred, or craving. If one can meditate properly, the black bubbles of anxiety are replaced by the golden bubbles of compassion and love. But all of this is just so much talk. The only thing that we can really talk about is objective reality, what our bodies sense. Anything past that is on shaky ground. The bubble metaphor will not be right for others, and it won't be right for me eventually, and indeed there should be no metaphor at all. The urge to describe and understand is strong, and one must weigh the benefit of caving in to that urge against the risk of suppressing the descriptive instinct.
It is hard indeed, when confronted with the physical reality of the moment, to not feel absurdly grateful that it can be experienced. There is a subtle but powerful joy in the mere fact of existence without commentary. While most easily sensed in mediation, we actually exist in every moment no matter what we're doing (like typing on a keyboard at a computer) and it is marvelous to feel it there, too.
CNN.com - Car bombs rock Iraq, 14 dead - May 7, 2006
CNN.com - Car bombs rock Iraq, 14 dead - May 7, 2006
Maybe we should print out pamphlets about Gandhi and pass them out to the Iraqis?
What's strange to me is, if the Iraqis really want us out, why not just get in ship and leave? Maybe the Iraqis will suprise us and form a workable government.
Maybe we should print out pamphlets about Gandhi and pass them out to the Iraqis?
What's strange to me is, if the Iraqis really want us out, why not just get in ship and leave? Maybe the Iraqis will suprise us and form a workable government.
Spyware guy fined $4m
I'm glad the FTC went after this guy and got some blood. Score 1 for the good guys.
AXcessNews.com - FTC Fines Smartbot $4mil Over Spyware Use: "The ads try to bully users into buying anti-spyware products, Spy Wiper or Spy Deleter, for $30 a throw. Worse still, the products fail to clean up systems, the Register reports."
AXcessNews.com - FTC Fines Smartbot $4mil Over Spyware Use: "The ads try to bully users into buying anti-spyware products, Spy Wiper or Spy Deleter, for $30 a throw. Worse still, the products fail to clean up systems, the Register reports."
Productive Week - Connection Crash
The week began with my internet connection failing on an important call, and with me, not even as Administrator, being able to enable or disable the connections. I knew about this problem but had ignored it since my internet connection has been running solidly despite a few quirks.
This turned out to be a very deep error that could only be fixed by reinstalling Windows XP. Because I have an IBM Thinkpad T43, I did not get rescue disks with it, and had to burn 5 CDs. I also backed up my data to a USB drive. Reinstallation took many hours. But in the end, I gained many benefits:
1. Upgraded the hard drive. I purchased a 7200rpm 60G drive long ago for a different laptop and never got around to installing it. It is now installed in my Thinkpad, and it really is notacably faster. (One quirk is that on reboot I get a BIOS Error 2010 that tells me the harddrive firmware isn't compatible. So far I've ignored this error without issue.)
2. Discovered that Open Office is quite usable and on-par with MS Office. MS Office Basic was NOT installed by the rescue disks. At first I was angry because IBM's "Rescue and Recovery" utility states that "this will return your PC to the state it was in when it arrived from the factory". Not so! Because I was in a hurry, I installed Open Office 2.0 which is quite nice. It has improved tremendously from the last time I checked it out. (I also phoned IBM to get MS Office and they sent me a disk overnight - I still need this for Outlook).
3. Discovered that Mozilla Thunderbird is also quite usable. I needed an email thick client to interact comfortably with some mailing lists. This is another product that I've looked at in the past, and which has gotten much better.
4. Enjoying a game-free system. Counter-Strike:Source (CSS - a Half-Life 2 first-person shooter) has taken up a lot of my time for a few months now. I really like the teamwork and the thrill - didn't like the amount of time it was sucking from my life and the violence.
5. Enjoying stable, up-to-date editions of my favorite development software. (Sun Java SE 5, Eclipse 3.1, TextPad 4.0)
6. Enjoying connecting to the internet at coffee houses! Turns out that connection ownership issue was preventing Windows from renewing DHCP information.
7. Discovered the Google Desktop. Because I wanted to install so much of the software in Google Pack (which is a convenient single download that includes FireFox, AdAware, Adobe Reader, Picasa), I installed the whole thing. Turns out Google Desktop is a jaw-droppingly neat environment that programmers can use to enhance Windows with downloadable plugins. It is also responsible for keeping your software up-to-date. The Screensaver (which puts up photos) is nice, too.
This turned out to be a very deep error that could only be fixed by reinstalling Windows XP. Because I have an IBM Thinkpad T43, I did not get rescue disks with it, and had to burn 5 CDs. I also backed up my data to a USB drive. Reinstallation took many hours. But in the end, I gained many benefits:
1. Upgraded the hard drive. I purchased a 7200rpm 60G drive long ago for a different laptop and never got around to installing it. It is now installed in my Thinkpad, and it really is notacably faster. (One quirk is that on reboot I get a BIOS Error 2010 that tells me the harddrive firmware isn't compatible. So far I've ignored this error without issue.)
2. Discovered that Open Office is quite usable and on-par with MS Office. MS Office Basic was NOT installed by the rescue disks. At first I was angry because IBM's "Rescue and Recovery" utility states that "this will return your PC to the state it was in when it arrived from the factory". Not so! Because I was in a hurry, I installed Open Office 2.0 which is quite nice. It has improved tremendously from the last time I checked it out. (I also phoned IBM to get MS Office and they sent me a disk overnight - I still need this for Outlook).
3. Discovered that Mozilla Thunderbird is also quite usable. I needed an email thick client to interact comfortably with some mailing lists. This is another product that I've looked at in the past, and which has gotten much better.
4. Enjoying a game-free system. Counter-Strike:Source (CSS - a Half-Life 2 first-person shooter) has taken up a lot of my time for a few months now. I really like the teamwork and the thrill - didn't like the amount of time it was sucking from my life and the violence.
5. Enjoying stable, up-to-date editions of my favorite development software. (Sun Java SE 5, Eclipse 3.1, TextPad 4.0)
6. Enjoying connecting to the internet at coffee houses! Turns out that connection ownership issue was preventing Windows from renewing DHCP information.
7. Discovered the Google Desktop. Because I wanted to install so much of the software in Google Pack (which is a convenient single download that includes FireFox, AdAware, Adobe Reader, Picasa), I installed the whole thing. Turns out Google Desktop is a jaw-droppingly neat environment that programmers can use to enhance Windows with downloadable plugins. It is also responsible for keeping your software up-to-date. The Screensaver (which puts up photos) is nice, too.
The nature of morality
My recent Vipassana sit has inspired some thinking about morality and ethics. In particular, I have come to doubt the program of western thinkers attempting to pin down an algorithm for right action. If volition is considered to be the ultimate arbiter of right and wrong (as is held by Buddhists) then in fact no algorithm exists. Indeed, there is ultimately no way to say what is right and wrong from an external viewpoint. Only the actor can judge.
Of course, this is only at the highest levels of attainment. Before that level is reached, ethical judgements must, by necessity, undergo some convulsions. One must deal with apparent contradictions that the heart insists on ignoring
This is frankly a troubling thought, that right and wrong is NOT a matter of thought, and cannot really be understood. This undercuts so much venerable thinking in the west (and having studied philosophy extensively in college, I'm confident in saying this). And yet there is some solace in this - to be able to invoke a sense of peace, calm, even hope in the world without regard to outcome or circumstance strikes me as an ultimately fulfilling existance. But in the interim, we must appeal to objective, logical analysis our actions lest human behavior descend into chaos. And to do that one must elucidate principles of action which, while not True, are certainly useful.
Of course, this is only at the highest levels of attainment. Before that level is reached, ethical judgements must, by necessity, undergo some convulsions. One must deal with apparent contradictions that the heart insists on ignoring
This is frankly a troubling thought, that right and wrong is NOT a matter of thought, and cannot really be understood. This undercuts so much venerable thinking in the west (and having studied philosophy extensively in college, I'm confident in saying this). And yet there is some solace in this - to be able to invoke a sense of peace, calm, even hope in the world without regard to outcome or circumstance strikes me as an ultimately fulfilling existance. But in the interim, we must appeal to objective, logical analysis our actions lest human behavior descend into chaos. And to do that one must elucidate principles of action which, while not True, are certainly useful.
Brokeback Mountain - an unfortunate sexualization of an American icon.
Ang Lee's "Gay Cowboy Movie" has garnered a lot of critical acclaim. I just saw it, and I can't help but think that the acclaim is more political than anything.
This movie could be seen as an assault on American cultural values. It's not even an original kind of assault: Take a sacred image, do something with it that conventional culture finds abbhorant, stir well and enjoy the furor. Maplethorpe did it with Jesus and urine. Ang Lee is doing it with machismo cowboys and homosexuality.
And I don't like it, not one bit. I think there is a real downside to exploring outrageous sexual possibilities - the next time two buddies want to go camping, anyone who's seen this movie may raise their eyebrows. That's unfortunate - just as unfortunate as how innumerable movies about child abuse make a father or a friend spending time with young children a questionable thing. Movies like this strip away the audience's innocence just a little bit. And I for one resent that.
This target is particularly juicy this year because of Bush. Part of his appeal to mainstream America is his accent, his sublminal appeal to "good ol' boy" reliability (before that phrase was vilified). This movie, by attacking those underpinnings of Bush's popularity, attack Bush himself.
Mind you, it's not the homosexuality that bothers me (although I have to admire the extra sharpness that this gives the assault, especially given the target) but the sexualization of otherwise platonic relationships.
Ironically, these men are portrayed as tortured lovers, but tortured more by their cowardice than anything else. As lovers they are wonderfully without reserve about their feelings for each other. But they are, in equal measure, reproachable for not shifting earth and sky to make their love work. Instead, they hide and marry and lie to their wives. That is just plain wrong. One may be tempted to villify the culture that increased the barrier to happiness. But it would be wrong to claim that the barrier was insurmountable: it could have been transcended, and it would have required courage from both Jack and Enus.
Dramatically, this failure to overcome allows the pair to remain unhappy in every aspect of their lives save the gay part, increasing the effectiveness of the cultural attack.
I'm not sure if this was Ang Lee's intent in making this movie. But that's what causes squeemish audiences and even anger. Let us hope that there is no embassy burning because of it, though.
This movie could be seen as an assault on American cultural values. It's not even an original kind of assault: Take a sacred image, do something with it that conventional culture finds abbhorant, stir well and enjoy the furor. Maplethorpe did it with Jesus and urine. Ang Lee is doing it with machismo cowboys and homosexuality.
And I don't like it, not one bit. I think there is a real downside to exploring outrageous sexual possibilities - the next time two buddies want to go camping, anyone who's seen this movie may raise their eyebrows. That's unfortunate - just as unfortunate as how innumerable movies about child abuse make a father or a friend spending time with young children a questionable thing. Movies like this strip away the audience's innocence just a little bit. And I for one resent that.
This target is particularly juicy this year because of Bush. Part of his appeal to mainstream America is his accent, his sublminal appeal to "good ol' boy" reliability (before that phrase was vilified). This movie, by attacking those underpinnings of Bush's popularity, attack Bush himself.
Mind you, it's not the homosexuality that bothers me (although I have to admire the extra sharpness that this gives the assault, especially given the target) but the sexualization of otherwise platonic relationships.
Ironically, these men are portrayed as tortured lovers, but tortured more by their cowardice than anything else. As lovers they are wonderfully without reserve about their feelings for each other. But they are, in equal measure, reproachable for not shifting earth and sky to make their love work. Instead, they hide and marry and lie to their wives. That is just plain wrong. One may be tempted to villify the culture that increased the barrier to happiness. But it would be wrong to claim that the barrier was insurmountable: it could have been transcended, and it would have required courage from both Jack and Enus.
Dramatically, this failure to overcome allows the pair to remain unhappy in every aspect of their lives save the gay part, increasing the effectiveness of the cultural attack.
I'm not sure if this was Ang Lee's intent in making this movie. But that's what causes squeemish audiences and even anger. Let us hope that there is no embassy burning because of it, though.
Lines of Energy
Lines of Energy: "Every yoga posture is a combination of at least two lines of energy, each line radiating outward from your center; and depending on the shape of the posture...."
Yoga is good. I injured myself during meditation last year and got freaked out because of numbness in my leg. A nuerologist told me that it was almost certainly a lumbar spine problem, pinching the nerve. After doing yoga for a few months that problem has improved a lot.
And there's more. I feel better. In the past when I've gotten all screwed up to get in shape, I'd go to the gym and work intensely for a few weeks, and then get sick. The sickness would linger and I would either not go back to the gym at all, or I would go back without much enthusiasm. Finally I would cancel my membership.
This was always unfortunate because I *like* being in shape. I'm a happier person and more fun to be around. And yoga turns out to be a good way to get past that wierd fitness barrier.
That is not to say that I didn't get sick. Actually, I think I did. But it was the oddest experience I've ever had being sick. It was brief, intense, and while it kept me in bed for 24 hours I was not agitated at all. The body aches were just aches, and I got through them until one early morning I woke up in sweaty sheets feeling like a million bucks.
All is not a bed of roses. I have a natural resistance to claims of spirituality, or even claims that use spiritual language. Yoga folks tend to be rather hippy-ish and, in general, on average tend not to enjoy working with logic, math, science, or technology. The threshold for acceptance is much lower than in myself. It seems that if someone makes a statement that seems plausable, it is accepted without further probing or thought. Yogis tend to be a credulous group.
(As a specific example of this there was a period where some of the teachers and regular students were talking about some sun-gazing fellow who claimed to get all nutrition from the sun, not eating a bite. They were speaking as if this claim was true, rather than being skeptical and wondering why, if this technique works, is this man not teaching it to the starving of Africa to reduce their dependence on arable land.)
This credulity makes it very hard to communicate sometimes. Teachers talk about "lines of energy" and "chakras" and "bowing to the divine in you" and seem to think that these concepts are self-evident. To be completely frank, I believe that most yoga practitioners are mouthing the words of the wise without understanding that the words are mere shadows of an experience *they* have not had. This bothers me because words can get in the way of actual, inarticulatable experience. It also bothers me because it sounds like a subtle form of lie.
What motivation to lie is there? Collectively, there is a massive craving for meaning, for happiness, for a sense of spirituality percieved as missing from "Western Culture". This tendency to use unchecked language and exagerated credulity is a reaction to the spiritual wasteland that is the west. It is as if they see the world as a desert (but, romantically, it was once a paradise) and themselves as caretakers of tiny, precious oasis. And an oasis must have a particular look - it must have a vulgar sexuality and lushness to it, because that is what an oasis is to them in the imagination.
It angers and saddens me to see this. I can't get objective distance on it because my belief is too overpowering that this behavior strikes me as a harmful delusion just as poisinous as the delusion that the point of life is to make the most money.
The gold standard on whether a cultural artifact is harmful is how it affects the people who promote it. So what if people talk about these things? Does it do them harm? A feature of the yoga studio is that it is a social gathering. People talk. People date. People gossip about each other. Over all of this is a thin patina of constant smiles and, to my eyes, impossibly consistent good cheer. I find a plethora of smiles and very little communication at any depth. It is as if everyone wants to believe that yoga is the solution to every problem and that by coming to the studio and doing asana practice everything will be alright. And if we all keep repeating that mantra over and over it will be true. "Yoga is the panacea. Yoga is the panacea. Yoga is...."
I am grateful for Yoga asana practice. It has helped my body a *ton*, and so also the health of my mind as well. But I can neither blame nor credit yoga for every trial and tribulation of my life. Life is life. If I am busy connecting the dots between one experience and another all I get is a self-satisfied yet scientifically unsupported "Ah, so that's why that happened" without actually addressing reality as it is. But everyday yoga practictioners accept these stories as fact, and reenforce their believe with a constant drone of smiles.
I begin to appreciate more and more the common Buddhist prohibition of sharing specific spiritual experiences with fellow students. Of *course* there are lots of specific (and quite interesting) things going on in the mind and the body. But those facts are useless unless you actually discover them for yourself. The body is so complex that if one addresses an issue in ignorance then you might solve one problem but at the expense of creating many others.
What I'm really trying to say is, I like yoga, but could do without the gossiping, the superficial cheer, and the credulous reiteration of a spiritual language unqualifed as a shadow of reality.
Yoga is good. I injured myself during meditation last year and got freaked out because of numbness in my leg. A nuerologist told me that it was almost certainly a lumbar spine problem, pinching the nerve. After doing yoga for a few months that problem has improved a lot.
And there's more. I feel better. In the past when I've gotten all screwed up to get in shape, I'd go to the gym and work intensely for a few weeks, and then get sick. The sickness would linger and I would either not go back to the gym at all, or I would go back without much enthusiasm. Finally I would cancel my membership.
This was always unfortunate because I *like* being in shape. I'm a happier person and more fun to be around. And yoga turns out to be a good way to get past that wierd fitness barrier.
That is not to say that I didn't get sick. Actually, I think I did. But it was the oddest experience I've ever had being sick. It was brief, intense, and while it kept me in bed for 24 hours I was not agitated at all. The body aches were just aches, and I got through them until one early morning I woke up in sweaty sheets feeling like a million bucks.
All is not a bed of roses. I have a natural resistance to claims of spirituality, or even claims that use spiritual language. Yoga folks tend to be rather hippy-ish and, in general, on average tend not to enjoy working with logic, math, science, or technology. The threshold for acceptance is much lower than in myself. It seems that if someone makes a statement that seems plausable, it is accepted without further probing or thought. Yogis tend to be a credulous group.
(As a specific example of this there was a period where some of the teachers and regular students were talking about some sun-gazing fellow who claimed to get all nutrition from the sun, not eating a bite. They were speaking as if this claim was true, rather than being skeptical and wondering why, if this technique works, is this man not teaching it to the starving of Africa to reduce their dependence on arable land.)
This credulity makes it very hard to communicate sometimes. Teachers talk about "lines of energy" and "chakras" and "bowing to the divine in you" and seem to think that these concepts are self-evident. To be completely frank, I believe that most yoga practitioners are mouthing the words of the wise without understanding that the words are mere shadows of an experience *they* have not had. This bothers me because words can get in the way of actual, inarticulatable experience. It also bothers me because it sounds like a subtle form of lie.
What motivation to lie is there? Collectively, there is a massive craving for meaning, for happiness, for a sense of spirituality percieved as missing from "Western Culture". This tendency to use unchecked language and exagerated credulity is a reaction to the spiritual wasteland that is the west. It is as if they see the world as a desert (but, romantically, it was once a paradise) and themselves as caretakers of tiny, precious oasis. And an oasis must have a particular look - it must have a vulgar sexuality and lushness to it, because that is what an oasis is to them in the imagination.
It angers and saddens me to see this. I can't get objective distance on it because my belief is too overpowering that this behavior strikes me as a harmful delusion just as poisinous as the delusion that the point of life is to make the most money.
The gold standard on whether a cultural artifact is harmful is how it affects the people who promote it. So what if people talk about these things? Does it do them harm? A feature of the yoga studio is that it is a social gathering. People talk. People date. People gossip about each other. Over all of this is a thin patina of constant smiles and, to my eyes, impossibly consistent good cheer. I find a plethora of smiles and very little communication at any depth. It is as if everyone wants to believe that yoga is the solution to every problem and that by coming to the studio and doing asana practice everything will be alright. And if we all keep repeating that mantra over and over it will be true. "Yoga is the panacea. Yoga is the panacea. Yoga is...."
I am grateful for Yoga asana practice. It has helped my body a *ton*, and so also the health of my mind as well. But I can neither blame nor credit yoga for every trial and tribulation of my life. Life is life. If I am busy connecting the dots between one experience and another all I get is a self-satisfied yet scientifically unsupported "Ah, so that's why that happened" without actually addressing reality as it is. But everyday yoga practictioners accept these stories as fact, and reenforce their believe with a constant drone of smiles.
I begin to appreciate more and more the common Buddhist prohibition of sharing specific spiritual experiences with fellow students. Of *course* there are lots of specific (and quite interesting) things going on in the mind and the body. But those facts are useless unless you actually discover them for yourself. The body is so complex that if one addresses an issue in ignorance then you might solve one problem but at the expense of creating many others.
What I'm really trying to say is, I like yoga, but could do without the gossiping, the superficial cheer, and the credulous reiteration of a spiritual language unqualifed as a shadow of reality.
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