Something wierd about the iPad

I'm a gadget guy: I love toys and electronics and shiny things that run on electricity in general. I often feel an unaccountable lust for objects I see on New Egg and in the Fry's ads in the back of the sports section. "$88 for 4G of RAM? Wow! I must have it!" I think, forgetting for the moment that I don't even own a desktop PC. The same thing happened when I saw the 30" Cinema display: it was simply gorgeous, and I had to have it, even though I didn't have a computer to drive it's insane resolution. And I felt the same way about the iPhone - and I actually bought it.

So, the weird thing about the iPad is that it inspires no such feelings of lust in me. It's weird because, by rights, it should inspire such feelings. It has all the traits: it's a neat toy and it's a solid metal block that has a computer inside of it. But there is no stirring in my brain's gadget-passion center.

(I've had this strange experience once before, with World of Warcraft. By rights, I should have been badly addicted to the game, but it was merely meh.)

I think the thing that gets me about the iPad is that I don't need it. I've never been in a situation where I thought to myself "Gosh, I wish I had a tablet right now." I own a tablet, actually, the IBM X10. It's really good for a very narrow range of tasks, mostly drawing and note-taking. The only feature of the iPad I have actually wanted is 10 hour battery life and the very light weight. Indeed, it would make an interesting "world traveler's device". Except, of course, netbooks are cheaper, more robust (clamshell protects screen), and have a built-in keyboard and useful ports (like USB and SD card slots). Indeed, with iPhone 4.0 including bluetooth keyboard support, the iPhone 3GS itself may be the best "world traveller's device" (especially if you buy downloadable maps). It's lighter than everything else and is a phone, and while it sucks for reading it's passable. And it's much better for watching movies than you'd expect.

Truth be told, my gadget-lusting brain is far more interested the Kindle and Nook. They have even better battery life, include lifetime 3G connectivity, and make reading digibooks relatively painless. I'm not real happy about page transitions, so maybe the next revision. I'm also very not excited about having to rebuy my physical books.

How I learned to stop worrying and love Apple's iThing developer restrictions

At first blush, Apple is confusing. On one hand, I like the polish of their products. Apple makes some of the very finest producty products - shiny, smooth metal objects that have computers in them. I love that. On the other hand, Apple is being very restrictive about what I make and, now, how I make it.

As a developer, I want to play with the insides of these metal objects. I want to break it apart, see how it works, and write code that runs on it. Part of the reason is that I see my software as a shiny metal object, and Apple promises to help me create that effect, both inside and out. In fact, not only does my app get to run on a shiny object, my app can be purchased through a shiny store. So the entire user experience is shiny! This is an opportunity that no other software platform gives me. It is absolutely unique.

It doesn't bother me that Apple is restricting it's developers on how they write their software, because the best mobile apps are ones written for bare metal. It's the only way to squeeze the most performance per watt from an app. For years, programmers have been decrying the fact that we just push around abstractions, and have lost the art of Deep Knowing, and rely on ever increasing PC specs to make up for sloppy coding practices. Well, guess what: now Apple is forcing you to know their devices inside and out before you write code for them. Everyone already knows you have to be a low-level programmer to write the shiniest possible apps, and Apple is simply forcing us to code The Right Way.

Of course, it's the uniqueness of Apple's product (not just the iThings but the entire shiny end-to-end user experience) which gives them the leverage to do it The Right Way. But since it's really just forcing us to do what we already know is right, why worry?

And also, of course, Apple gleefully realizes that as programmers learn the iThing environment they will be loath to abandon their hard-won skills and may even be tempted to write native apps for OSX.

Hamid Karzai declares war on the US; the US "fully supports" the move

Kabul, Afghanistan. The nation of Afghanistan is rejoicing today at their leader's decision to declare war on the US. Incensed by the occupation of his country by "foreign devils" Karzai has asked the US for an increase in troop levels, but the US has declined. "President Karzai already has 100,000 US troops under his command. It's not that we don't want to help him prosecute his war against us, but we're already stretched thin, and don't have the resources to spare," said secretary of state Hillary Clinton. "President Karzai is taking an incredibly brave and principled stand, and we wish we could give him more support."

US troops stationed in Afghanistan were circumspect. "I'm not real happy about fighting against other Americans, but hey, what the commander in chief says, goes. Besides, I'm kind of looking forward to a stand-up fight, for once," said Leuitenent Commander JP Whitmore, 3rd division.

Defense contractors have been quick to assure both sides of the impending battle of their unwavering, fair-minded support. "We pledge to show no favoritism to the US troops in Afghanistan or to the US troops which are preparing to attack them," said CEO David J. Lesar of Halliburton. To so do so, he said would be "unfair to the taxpayer as much as to the troops themselves." He did add that it would be convenient if both sides of the battle would use the same logistical pipeline. "If both sides rearm and refuel from the same depot, we could see unprecedented efficiency improvements," said Raytheon chief William H. Swanson. "Getting those supply lines in place is a major headache," he added, "and we would hate to duplicate effort unnecessarily." "This is an unprecedented opportunity to show how efficent war can get," echoed GE CEO Jeffrey R. Immelt. "It just doesn't get any better than this."

Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Michael Mullen in a press conference this morning, "No matter what happens, we will prevail in this conflict." He continued, "They know our strengths, they know our weakness, they are highly trained and professional, just like us. We are fighting for basic human freedoms," looking confused for a moment he continued, "but of course we do not abandon our allies, especially when helping them to fight for freedom against an oppressive, imperialist occupation. Our support of Karzai is unwavering and he will be victorious with our unwavering help," pausing for a moment, "and we will also bring Karzai down without mercy," he concluded.